so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Two words: blizzard sex
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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