It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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