elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
