Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize