Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
