I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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