he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Please don't give away my fajitas
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
