i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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