Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
