Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my being single is dangerous.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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