we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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