If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
A+ Viking dick
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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