I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
