just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
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