so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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