I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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