jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
