Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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