life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
