with your own penis?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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