Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day đđ#pensacolaproblems
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He heard our neighborâs vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now theyâre doing it
The blonde?!? Thatâs just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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