You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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