Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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