Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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