Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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