Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
