I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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