In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize