Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
