i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
