I am puke
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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