Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
