I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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