She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
