i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
