I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
