Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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