I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
They took my balls.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
