Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
