Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
