I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
