the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
