We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
