i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
