i permit you to call me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
