Come see our sink grown plant.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
