I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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