Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize