im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
