should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
