Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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