The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
