My first STD was from a foam party
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
