I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
