I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
