Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
