...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
