i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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