PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
